soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
