she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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