I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
