Plan B is the new Plan A
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
