Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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