You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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