this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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