I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
