Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
