why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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