Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
