I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
