I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
