New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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