After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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