I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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