I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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