My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
honey bunches of taint.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My bed smells like the plague
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