Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
In America we eat man semen.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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