he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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