i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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