I want to make a zoo with you.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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