Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
