Taylor Swift is so right about you.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
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official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize