I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
