just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize