They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
