barbara walters just said penis...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
