she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
