I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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