Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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