I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So many bounce houses so little time
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
