Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize