yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
