covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
