next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize