He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
