So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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