I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
