im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
