Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
