you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
