I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
COCAINE IS GR8
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
