just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
