I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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