Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
