did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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