We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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