dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
