You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
