I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
