yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
