better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
