1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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