he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My ass is underappreciated
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize