Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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