How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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