hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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