I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My life is pants optional.
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