in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
