walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
