I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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